if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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