My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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