all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
