I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
