I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm at about main and main street
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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