If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
