Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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