Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
