hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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