I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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