I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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