I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize