Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
