Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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