why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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