i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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