so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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