I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Your tits are I can't wait for
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
