You made me cry and you don't even care
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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