I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
