been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
