I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
