OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
