Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
