Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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