My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
