We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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