saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
