best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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