party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
