What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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