It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
