Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
