i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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