i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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