Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
