I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
