a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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