I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
