so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
