Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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