Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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