apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
