This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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