I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We are two peas in an std pod
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
