Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
