Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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