When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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