Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I am naked and annoyed.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
