This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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