Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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