dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just cropdusted the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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