lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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