We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
