so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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