im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize