I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
