I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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