So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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