office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
